you have tamed me. [caden]

[CADEN MICAH LAWRENCE]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i287.photobucket.com/albums/ll153/tokyotabby/Grey.jpg); border: solid #ffffff 4px; width: 250px; height: 650px;] it feels like something is takes over me It was a bit dramatic, something that Caden wasn’t familiar with. He certainly didn’t like it because it made him uneasy. Maybe it was because of the lingering threat that he was about to loose everything that meant something to him – all at once. Audrey, his music –everything. His will to live. When she left him in the living room, he stood there for a few minutes, just thinking about how this was something out of a movie. Of course he was suppose to follow her, didn’t all the guys who didn’t go after the girl lost them? But he couldn’t afford to loose Audrey, especially not now because he wasn’t completely over what was making him feel useless. Because that feeling had just splashed over him when Caden saw her unhappy. He couldn’t live with himself if he couldn’t even make her happy. Even if he thought he liked her more than just a friend, how could he? He couldn’t even make her happy now, what made him think he could make her happy in a relationship? How could she want someone that was broken and incomplete like him? It was just pointless. But he had to see what she wanted, what would make her happy. He wasn’t sure, after he had entered her room, if she did really want him in there. He almost walked back out, but he couldn’t. his fears wouldn’t let him. Caden spoke softly, watching her after he let his words linger on her. Maybe this wasn’t want she wanted to hear. Audrey’s smile appeared and he sighed inwardly. That was what he wanted to see, whether it had come from him or someone else. He just wanted her to be happy. He shook his head when she said he deserved an apology. He didn’t care. But he let her finish her sentences. Caden wasn’t going to interrupt because it seemed like she needed to get it out. After she finished, he reasted his hand on her cheek, a touch that he had never experienced before. Sure they cuddled against each other before, but he had never touched her face. Audrey. You’re not a bitch. And I’m just as selfish. I don’t think I could walk away from you even if I wanted to. He smiled, and after a moment or two he realized what he was doing and pulled away. That was probably the most vulnerable he had ever been with her except that day in the hospital and now didn’t seem like the time. She needed reassurance and he needed her back to keep him sane and happy. You don’t realize how much I depend on you. I didn’t realize it myself until I thought you were pushing me away. I don’t think I could ever go back to the things were before. I… I think that I’m addict. He chuckled at this. It sounded like he was a druggie and Audrey was his drug. But maybe that was the closest he could describe how he felt about her. I care a lot about you Audrey. And I just want you to be happy. Whether that be with me or with someone else. And, if by chance, it’s without me, then I want you to take it. Because I’ve taken too much of your time already. I knew that one day you’d want to leave me. I’m not… good for you. He struggled with his words. It sounded like he was making it seem like they were trying to become more than friends. And that was what he thought she had been hinting at, but now he wasn’t so sure. as soon as i go home and close the door WORDS: 608 TAGGED: audrey OUTFIT: sig MUSIC: nothing atm NOTES <33 template made by mikey is a lady killer ?! @ caution 2.0, steal it and she'll send zombie pandas to eat your brains!

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[AUDREY QUINN FARROW]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: #f1f1f1] You have tamed me, now you must take me how am i supposed to be i don't have my thorns now The clearer her mind became, the stupider she felt, but the more relieved she felt, too. It was funny, how being honest and truthful made one feel silly. It was like with acting, when she did theatre in high school: go all out, and if you feel silly? You're doing it right. It was something her teacher always said, but it was funny how it applied to so many other areas of Audrey's life. Expressing what had been stored up in her mind for years, as tangled and hectic as it was, may have seemed... no, been over dramatic. It was embarrassing and foolish but damn she felt a lot better than she had for awhile. Almost like after throwing up... 'Bad example' she thought, wrinkling her nose. She made a mental note not to use that out loud or anything. Her eyes were closed until he touched her cheek, and she stopped, stopped everything. Breathing, moving, thinking even. And she just lay there, on her back, his hand on her cheek. Such a simple thing, but her gut was telling her this was good. Caden thought she was as crazy as ever, probably, but he was still around. And she had a feeling he would be for awhile. When he pulled away, she looked up at him, watching him as he continued, wishing he hadn't moved. Her feelings were becoming clearer and clearer to her, even though she hadn't said specifically what they were. Implied very havily without thinking, yes. But confirmed... Well, she knew Caden. And Caden was one for clear answers, on puzzled, no dodging, no guessing. Areas Audrey worked well in throughout her college days to avoid rejection and hurt. Guessing used to mean no real answer, things could change and she was tied to no one and nothing. It wasn't such a liberating feeling, anymore. It was more weighty than it had ever been now, speaking to Caden. Taking in a deep breath, her expression turned more sad as she released it, shaking her head and looking to the ceiling. "You know me, Caden, I don't need people. I don't need anyone to help me stand..." She laughed lightly, shaking her head at the words coming out of her mouth. "I might not act like it but Caden I didn't know how important you were... oh God, get ready... I didn't realize how important you were to me until I almost lost you..." Audrey expected to feel embarrassed all over again, but it struck a cord and made her more sad than anything. She sat up, putting a hand on his knee, a "borderline" action in her mind. It was a little more than just friends... but she had a feeling things were moving that way. Living in the house with him had built up a lot of tension, she'd realized. Everything was thought out carefully, like each move was a dare. She still wouldn't look at him. "I know that... I won't be happy unless you're around. I don't like to show it but I depend on you, too. You keep me from going too crazy" she said, then gave a short scoff of a laugh, "And you drive me crazy... but in a good way. A really good way." And a sunset couldn't save me now tags: caden! outfit: here lyrics: baobabs, regina spektor <3 this template was made by madcap @ caution.

[CADEN MICAH LAWRENCE]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i287.photobucket.com/albums/ll153/tokyotabby/Grey.jpg); border: solid #ffffff 4px; width: 250px; height: 650px;] it feels like something is takes over me Physical touching was something that Caden wasn’t used to, at least with Audrey. Sure they had cuddled together on the bed or couch together, but he had never intentionally brushed his hand over her cheek or anything romantically like that. When he had realized what he had been doing, he freaked out a little. It wasn’t weird, actually, it felt right, but because Caden had never really been intimate with many girls, he was little weird around girls he actually liked. Sure, he had had sex with random girls, but it was just sex to him. He wanted to feel something, anything, and nothing had come from it. In fact, he just got depressed trying to find those feelings. The only person that made him feel was laying on the bed right in front of him at the moment. It was a great to feel something, even though he hadn’t known what it was. But as she was telling him what she was feeling, he understood more about his own. He understood, now, what was between them, even though neither one of them said it out loud, it had been there for a while now and maybe even back before he had tried to take his own life. But he couldn’t be sure about that. When she talked about not needing anybody, his heart sunk, so she didn’t need him like he needed her. He needed her to live. To breathe. It wasn’t rocket science to him. It was just the simple fact that with her, he could live. Without her, well, he didn’t even want to think about it. But when she mentioned when he had tried to kill himself, he flinched. She hadn’t really spoke about that until now, and now he felt ashamed to having to put her through it. I should have never put you through that. I shouldn’t have called you like that. Asked you to come away with me. It was incredible selfish and now you’re paying for my mistakes. He tried ignoring the feeling of her hand on his knee. But it was a sign that she was opening up more to him. And he couldn’t have that if she was going to leave. Audrey, you’re miserable. How can you depend on me when I’m making your life a living hell? How can you even stand to be in the same room with me if I can’t make you smile? I’m not good for you, or for anyone. I’m like a disease. I weaken and break anyone who gets close. You have to leave me before it’s too late. He blinked at his words. He wasn’t sure where they had come from but the instant he had said them he knew they were the truth. Sure, he could pretend that he wasn’t breaking her, that she wasn’t miserable now that she was with him. He could see it in her everyday. How she would get crabby and what to rip his head off. Of course she wanted someone else, it only made since. You have to leave me because I can’t leave you. He added, pulling away from her touch. Caden put his feet flat on the floor, burying his head in his hands, his back to her. Audrey, I’ll never be good enough for you. And God help me, but I think I’m in love with you. He wasn’t looking at her, so he didn’t know what she was doing, what her face was expressing, but he didn’t really care at the moment. She had to see reason. She had to know that being with him would drain everything from her. She already was expressing those signs and it was because he knew that it was because he cared about her. as soon as i go home and close the door WORDS: 629 TAGGED: audrey OUTFIT: sig MUSIC: nothing atm NOTES <33 template made by mikey is a lady killer ?! @ caution 2.0, steal it and she'll send zombie pandas to eat your brains!

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[AUDREY QUINN FARROW]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: #f1f1f1] You have tamed me, now you must take me how am i supposed to be i don't have my thorns now Miserable… That word made Audrey frown. Did she really seem so miserable? If so, she felt shittier than she had before. She could only imagine what would have happened if he’d just up and disappeared to Hawaii and had never asked her. There wouldn’t be a day when she wouldn’t call, she’d send letters and ache and pine and be miserable and say she was going to get down there to visit, but never be able to because of how busy she was and for fear of disturbing his peace. She would have been a worse wreck than she’d been… all of her problems were created by herself. Caden had done nothing wrong since they’d gotten here. He’d been nothing but kind, nothing but considerate, nothing but a good friend. What was wrong was that Audrey wasn’t exactly okay with only that, and it drove her crazy that she didn’t have the courage to say so. Now she’d made this mess, and he was telling her to leave and saying he wasn’t good for her. It wasn’t hard to see how she’d made it seem that way. Audrey tended to throw her problems on others. It was a fault she was well aware of until she started doing it. This she had no choice but to take full responsibility for, and she did. Each word ripped at her gut and soul, making her feel worse and worse, though she wanted it that way. She wanted to see and feel all the damage she’d done. If anything, she’d been bad for him, made him miserable… because he certainly seemed miserable. The talk was scaring her a little. He seemed helpless, hopeless, and those were two words she’d associated with his disposition the day she’d visited him in the hospital: hopeless, helpless, and oh so sad. Once upon a time Audrey took a secret (or perhaps not so secret) joy in toying with the hearts of men, making them confused. All she wanted to do now was make Caden understand how wrong he was. “You have to leave me because I can’t leave you”. Usually, she’d puke at that shit, but she wanted nothing more than to say “aww” and cry, but such a sadness loomed over her that she could only look longingly at him, wishing she had that Hollywood perfect phrase that would make everything right again, but nothing would come to her. Now she was starting to feel it: hopeless, helpless. When he pulled away, she thought he was getting ready to stand and walk away, and she sat up quickly, opening her mouth again as he put his face in her hands. The sudden breath she drew in released in a sigh, and she sat on her knees, staring at his back. And if she hadn’t had any words to say before, every thought was knocked from her head at his final sentence. “…I think I’m in love with you.” After a few seconds hesitation, she scooted up to him, wrapping her arms around his torso and hugging him close with her cheek against his back, closing her eyes. “I’m not leaving,” she said, quietly but firmly, then inhaled deeply before continuing, “I’m not leaving because I know if I do I’ll never forgive myself for leaving you here. And I just can’t leave you here because… it’ll suck going back home to… everything. Work. Family. My friends, my Irish Thursdays at Paddy Murphy’s, my home… everything but you.” Words failed her again, as they had many times that night, and she scooted next to him, her arm still around his waist, and peeked up at him. She gave him a sad look, then reached out, touching his hair gingerly, then pushing her fingers through it, leaning close so her forehead touched the side of his head. She took a deep breath because she felt so strange using words the ones pushing to be said, but they were the only ones that made sense. “You can’t make me leave, because… I think… I love you, too. And that’d be just… cruel if you did, Caden… life would kinda suck without you there … don’t make me, please… I act like I don’t need anyone, but hell Caden, I need you… I can’t leave, I’m so…” And there she went tearing up again. All she wanted was for him to say something that would make everything okay, for her to make him feel all better and fix everything and get things back to the way it was, if anything. But they’d crossed a certain line with a certain word. At this point, things would never be the same again… And a sunset couldn't save me now tags: caden! outfit: here lyrics: baobabs, regina spektor <3 this template was made by madcap @ caution.